Teen Talk: Creating safe spaces for LGBTQ students

Throughout history, people have hoped for a better tomorrow. It fuels us. Each year millions of people in the U.S. buy lottery tickets knowing that “some lucky dog is going to win it.” Billions of religious people have hope of an afterlife. Others strive to win a high school state tournament. Then there are school graduations. Weddings. Careers. The birth of a child. The list could go on forever.

Imagine life without hope. Sadly, that is the reality for many teens.

According to the 2023 Washington State Healthy Youth Survey, 29% of 10th graders in Snohomish County felt so sad or hopeless for two weeks or more that they stopped doing their usual activities — and 63% felt nervous or anxious in the past two weeks. So, almost one in three 10th graders in this community felt so hopeless, it impacted their activities. Even more unsettling is that almost half of those Snohomish County 10th graders surveyed who identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual report feeling hopeless. In fact, across the entire state of Washington, 10th graders who identify as anything but heterosexual are almost twice as likely to feel a sense of hopelessness than their heterosexual peers.

That’s beyond alarming.

Hope is defined by the Healthy Youth Survey as “the belief that the future can be better than the past and you play a role in making it so.”

According to the State Department of Health’s Washington Tracking Network, “Youth who reported feeling sad and hopeless are more likely than others to engage in high risk behaviors, such as drinking alcoholic beverages, abusing prescription pain killers, and carrying weapons. They are also more likely to report considering suicide, being abused by an adult, and having a low quality of life.” The data has been collected and reported for almost two decades. An individual experiencing hopelessness isn’t just sad for that person, it impacts the entire community.

Not all days are good days. That’s part of life. Yet as a strong community we have an opportunity to create a vision where everyone knows that they can contribute to a better future. It is in everyone’s best interest to have a community filled with hope.

The good news is that hope can be cultivated. And teens are stepping up to the challenge. High schools such as Edmonds Woodway, Meadowdale, Mountlake Terrace and Lynnwood offer student-led clubs or affinity groups in support of LGBTQ+ students. These provide support and they make a difference.

As a specific example, the Mountlake Terrace High School Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA) “is a student club that works toward a more accepting environment for ALL people, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, through education, support, social action and advocacy.” The club points to research noting that when a member of the “GSA is present, LGBT students hear homophobic remarks less often, experience less harassment and assault, feel safer at school, skip school less often and have a greater sense of belonging.”

Beyond the walls of formal clubs, individuals are also making a difference in small and big ways.

JJ — who asked to remain anonymous — identifies as a gay high school junior. He was among those who took the survey as a sophomore. JJ said that keeping the big picture in mind is useful and reminds peers that “1) sexuality doesn’t define you and is literally just one facet of the thousands that we consist of, and 2) that college and what comes after will afford us the chance to find our own communities.”

Though all people are different, JJ feels that it’s hard to remain hopeful when thinking about romantic relationships. “It is soooo hard to find someone who is the same orientation as you AND still fitting your standards,” he said. That by itself is a factor in feeling hopeless. JJ’s situation is different than some in that he has family support. He acknowledges this is a privilege not all LGBTQ+ teens have and tries to pay it forward. “I always try to support others when they come to me because I know not everyone is as fortunate when it comes to acceptance.”

Edmonds resident Rowan Soiset wanted a safe space where LGBTQ+ individuals, ages 17 and older, would have the opportunity to connect with peers and also get involved. Rowan felt this was lacking in the community and at age 20, created the Edmonds Queer Youth Alliance (EQYA). This nonprofit was officially established in 2024 and the alliance continues to sponsor activities. This past spring, members of the EQYA planted a community garden. Depending on their harvest, the farm-fresh food will go to members of the EQYA and the Edmonds Food Bank.

Everyone has the opportunity to contribute to creating the kind of world that they want to live in. Cultivating an environment where all people, regardless of sexual orientation, feel that they can contribute to creating a better future benefits an entire community.

Additional community resources are available to support LGBTQ+ teens. They are confidential and free of charge.

Resources

Teen Link. Teen Link is a program of Crisis Connections that serves youth in Washington state. Volunteers are trained to listen to your concerns and talk with you about whatever’s on your mind – bullying, drug and alcohol concerns, relationships, stress, depression or any other issues you’re facing. No issue is too big or too small. Calls and chats are confidential.

Trevor Project. Crisis support and advocacy work for LGBTQ young people. The calling and texting center is open 24/7 and can help you if you are struggling with issues such as coming out, LGBTQ identity, depression and suicide.

Amelie LaPorte-Manahan is grateful to live in Edmonds. She is a sophomore at Seattle Prep High School, where she is a part of the journalism club and Black Student Union. Amelie also plays varsity basketball and softball.